so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
