I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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