my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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