Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
