I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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