If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
