She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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