I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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