4 words: hood of his car
He kissed a someone with a penis
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
