he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Randomize
