just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
