You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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