brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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