Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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