talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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