I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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