he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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