bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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