If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
