It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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