I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just found a bag of teeth...
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
