BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
