So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
