is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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