Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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