I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
