we're blogging at a bar
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
