Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
There r osticjed everywhere
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I have tasted many bathrooms
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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