i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
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