Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
