My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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