Pappa wants mamma naked
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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