So drunk, too bad you don't want this
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize