in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
