No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
