I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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