let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
