I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
