I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
