Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
