I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
