guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
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Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
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What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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