i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He is an equal opportunity slut.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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