You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
