It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize