I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
