i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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