He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize