also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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