ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
