I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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