Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
