she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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