Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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