I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
