stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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