brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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