Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
why is half of my head shaved?
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